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Millions of Diamonds of Light

 Sister Nylas Moser, ASC

By Sister Nylas Moser, ASC


A few years ago, I was experiencing a “dark night of the soul.” During a group ritual that summer, participants were instructed to remain silent and to take their turn peering into a mysterious structure on a table. When I looked inside, a single votive candle was burning, yet mirrors reflected the one candle and “multiplied” it. I saw my face, as well.

Upon returning to my place, I asked myself, “What was that about?” In a few minutes, the answer came from Jesus:  “I can be your light.”  (Curiously, he did not say, “I am your light.”) This unexpected message moved me to tears. I knew that this was a grace.

In the autumn following the summer blessing, the interior struggle continued. I happened to take a walk. I took a moment to sit on a bench, when I noticed the sunlight glimmering on the morning dew. This was my first recognition of millions of diamonds of light. I got the message and laughed!  I exclaimed to Jesus:  “It’s YOU! Very clever! You’re funny!  You got my attention! I get it! Thank you!”  

There have been other occasions, when I am more attuned to this particular manifestation of light, for example, sunlight shimmering on water.

In October of 2020, the dark night lifted. Up to then, in spite of Jesus’ assurance, I had felt abandoned and distressed. While I had been doing inner work, it was a comment by my spiritual director that sparked the realization that the devil was behind my sorrow. He was jealous of Christ having captured my heart! At that, I told the Tempter to “get out and stay out!” for the devil wants to drive a wedge between us and God.  

Fast forward to February 2021. On the second morning of Lent, my eyes delighted in millions of diamonds of light glistening on the snow. I giggled because of the surprise, a message of love.

The sequence in nature has been light-filled grace in summer, autumn, and winter. Will there be an epiphany in the spring? Will I recognize other forms of diamonds of light?

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The ASC Family is a community of Adorers of the Blood of Christ Religious Sisters and those inspired by our values and spirituality. The Adorers were founded by St. Maria de Mattias in Italy and came to the United States in 1870. Today, we work for justice, peace, and love for our dear neighbor all over the world.

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